Happy 1st Birthday Logan!

A year ago today (just about right now actually) we had just found out that Logan was coming today, instead of December 2nd. What could only be described as the craziest most wonderful days of my life, our precious littlest boy was born.

Logan has been such an amazing (and ornery) little boy from the start. He only cries when he’s hungry. He is so incredibly smart and has figured out ways around things quicker than most kids. He loves to eat, in fact he’s usually chewing on something. He’s such a funny little dude. He’s so strong too. Logan doesn’t give away his hugs and smooches as freely as Luke did. When you get a Logan smooch, you can feel the love through and through. He probably has the cutest baby mean mug I have ever seen in my life, but he also is the most observant baby ever.

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Uterine Prolapse, Cystocele, Rectocele, Interstim Placement and Hemorrhoid Removal – Surgery

On November 15th, I went in for multiple repairs aimed at improving my overall quality of life and easing some pain I had been feeling. I was under the impression that while it would hurt, the pain would be minimal…..At least that’s what I was told.

Let’s go back a bit. My surgery was a bit difficult for everyone from the get go because of my allergies/sensitivities to many of the drugs, procedures, and normal protocols for the things I was having done. I requested absolutely no mesh be placed anywhere, which changed up the plans ever so slightly. Instead of pushing my bladder and uterus up through my vagina, and making a mesh sling for them to rest on, the doctor had to make an incision in my c-section scar and lift everything up from the top, and secure it to ligaments using permanent stitches. The doctor normally likes to have the anesthesiologist give a long lasting epidural during surgery to help control pain post op. Because of my spinal and platelet issues, the anesthesiologist was only willing to do a spinal before I went into the operating room. Unfortunately, the spinal didn’t work so it was a wasted aspect to the procedure. I am allergic to many of the anesthesia options that are the most frequent “go to’s”, so they did their best to figure it out.

I informed the anesthesiologist that the best protocol for preventing post op vomiting was 8 mg of zofran and 25 mg of phenergan before sedation. She opted instead to give me reglan (cue red flag), and I had a “response” within 15 minutes. My hands contorted into this weird position and I couldn’t move them.

Once I was back in the operating room, I drifted off to sleep very quickly. The doctor used supplies I brought in (tea tree Castile soap, skin prep and Opsite), but the 3 hour procedure took upwards of 6 hours before I was wheeled out of the operating room. My husband was told everything went well, so I’m not sure where the 3 additional hours came from. I was wheeled up to my room, and that’s where things really went downhill.

From the time I got to my room, to the first time I saw the nurse for any type of pain medication or anything took 2.5 hours. She was horrible throughout the night; coming in hours after pain meds were due and numerous pages, not answering her phone when I would call, needing multiple trips and reminders to bring basic necessities (ice chips, a dry gown because my IV tube was leaking for hours, iv tubing etc), bringing meds I am allergic to, and was just not good overall.

I was supposed to be discharged on Thursday, but the lack of proper care Wednesday night and the inability to get my pain under control I stayed the next few days. My nights were worse than the days. My blood pressure would drop to the 70’s/50’s and lower, my pain would go wildly uncontrolled and we did just about everything possible just to keep slightly in front of it all. The days were slightly better. I could walk around a bit, keep some foods down and could almost tolerate the pain.

I was discharged yesterday, 4 days after surgery. I am still in excruciating pain. I can barely move. I can’t sit or lay down on my left side at all. Thanks to a nasty case of thrush I can barely eat. I’m so swollen I look several months pregnant. The pain meds make me talk in my sleep. I have a catheter taped to my leg that leaks pee after a bit. I’m sure I smell. This isn’t what I signed up for at all……

BUT: my vagina no longer feels like my insides are a thin membrane away from falling out, the hemorrhoid that I’ve had since high school is gone, I don’t have to pee every 5 minutes and life is going to be great soon.

My Week With a Trial Bladder Control Device

At the age of 33, bladder problems shouldn’t exist. Unfortunately for this 33 year old, it was is a part of my everyday life. Everyone always says that when you have kids, everything down there changes. After I had Luke, I started experiencing problems with bladder control and frequency. I thought it was a normal post-pregnancy thing, and it was embarrassing so I never brought it up to any of my doctors……until recently.

I’m just gonna say it……peeing my pants was a multiple day occurrence. I’m not talking just a little leak, but full on I need to buy a new pair of pants kind of thing. Any time I laughed, sneezed, coughed, picked up the kids, ran/jogged, I would leak a little pee. A lot of my mommy friends did too so I thought it was okay. The big thing for me is when I would get a little bit of fluid in my bladder, I would go from not feeling like I had to go at all to full on if I don’t go now my bladder will explode, in less than 5 seconds. It sucked, and I always had a change of clothes with me just in case.

When I was pregnant with Logan, things got worse. I constantly felt like there was something bulging from my vagina when I would go to the bathroom and when I pooped, I would feel a pouch start to form inside of my vagina before the poop would come out. It is uncomfortable, embarrassing and super painful. After my tubal ligation procedure I mentioned my toilet difficulties with my OB, who told me to go see a urogynocologist. Thank god I went when I did!

After a physical examination I was diagnosed with grade 3 bladder and uterine prolapses and a second degree (non-straining) rectocele. I also underwent a bladder test where they gave me a pill to dye my pee blue, inserted a pressure sensitive catheter into my bladder, filled my bladder with saline and then measured what my bladder was doing. In a “normal” person, the feeling of needing to pee usually happens at around 150-200 ml, my result was 14 ml. My bladder was full at 86 ml, the normal bladder being full at 500 ml. They also noticed that my bladder would randomly spasm and contract, expelling whatever fluid was in there.

We discussed my options and determined that our best course of action was to place a device called Interstim in for a week and see if it helped. I underwent a procedure where the doctor placed little wire leads through my back, and into a section of my pelvic bone to send electric pulses to my sacral nerves.

The device acts as a pacemaker for my bladder, suppressing the feeling of having to pee until I actually had to pee.

This is what my back looked like.

So did it work? It worked really well! I went from using the bathroom (including leaks and accidents) 25+ times a day, down to 8 or 9. I only had a few accidents and that was because I wasn’t in a place where I could get to a bathroom.

So whats next? Tomorrow (October 30) I am going back to the doctor to have the leads removed. With the trial being completed, I do not need the fancy gear right now. On November 15th I’ll be going through a pretty big surgery to repair the prolapsed organs and to install the permanent interstim device.

Because we aren’t done having kids (probably), the doctor will be inserting permanent stitches to lift my uterus and bladder back up, rather than do a hysterectomy. She will be going through an incision made in my c-section scar and also through my vagina to pull everything up and secure it in place. She will also go in vaginally and reinforce the wall between my rectum and vagina so that the rectocele goes away. I’ll be in the hospital for at least a day, and come home with a catheter for at least a week while things heal up.

I have been told that this is going to be a long and painful recovery, but is so worth it for quality of life. And if life in the future can be anything like it was this week, I’ll take the torture.

So Excited About Going Chemical Free

My husband is starting to think I’m going off the deep end. My bottle of Thieves household cleaner will be here Monday and I’ve already got all my plans for what I’m going to do with it! All these toxic chemicals are headed out of my house in exchange for safe, natural alternatives.

My immediate lists of DIY products using Thieves cleaner is:

1) all purpose household cleaner

2) glass/window cleaner

3) toilet cleaner

4) Wood floor cleaner to replace the swifter cleaner

5) Hand sanitizer (using thieves oil not household cleaner)

6) Thieves disinfecting wipes (like Clorox wipes but toxin free)

7) dishwasher tablets

8) Baby wipes – not using thieves but still on my list of to-dos

In the near future I also plan on making:

1) laundry detergent

2) fabric softener/dryer balls of some sort

3) shampoo

4) body wash

5) dish soap

** Young Living does have laundry detergent, soap and shampoo in their Thieves and ART lines. I am considering purchasing it, but am also looking into DIY methods to make my own**.

I can’t explain the feeling of wanting to get rid of all these super toxic things in my house. The more I research and read, the scarier it is!

Stay tuned for recipes, class invite and cost comparisons.

Getting Oily

After I had Logan, but before we found out we were pregnant with Lily, I started looking into essential oils to help with mood support and getting my kids to sleep. I’ve been teetering a fine line for awhile now between wanting to reduce my carbon footprint on this earth, and live a more natural lifestyle. I will admit that I was a complete skeptic when it came to essential oils, but I was sick and tired of paying the pharmaceutical companies to treat symptoms and not the underlying issue….so I thought what the hell.

My first instinct was that there was no way that “flower water” was going to help get my depression and anxiety under control or do any of the other things that I had been told it would. I mean the stuff I got at Whole Foods smelled good but didn’t do much besides give me a rash. You guys…..I was wrong! This is truly an instance where quality matters, and that $5 bottle of “lavender” was nothing more than fragrance. When I got my starter kit, one of the first things I did was set up the diffuser and put a few drops of lavender in before bed. I was amazed at how quickly it calmed and relaxed my normally out of control kids. I was even more amazed when my husband was snoring next to me in bed after saying it wasn’t doing anything for him. Next up I tried some oils topically to help with postpartum depression and anxiety. I was still taking my meds, but it helped so much that I was able to reduce my dosage and eventually drop meds all together.

When we found out we were having Lily, I started wearing peppermint oil and was able to avoid many of the smells that triggered HG. I would also put a drop under my tongue after I puked to get the nasty vomit taste out of my mouth. Since then I have used essential oils to help with allergy relief, we diffuse a blend called RC which has reduced the need for us to use a nebulizer on Luke for his asthma, I have rubbed essential oils on the kids jawline to help with teething pain (and avoided having to give Motrin), cured diaper rashes and calmed burns on my skin, relieved discomfort from ear infections, eased upset tummies and made bug spray.

And there is still so much more I want to try. I am getting ready to make a hair serum to see if I can really help my brother regrow his hair, am going to be making soaps and bath fizzes for the upcoming cold and flu season, make lotion to help my husband with suspected psoriasis……..and more!

I have caught the essential oils bug and I really, truly believe that every single person can benefit from their use!

I personally chose to enroll as a wholesale member with Young Living. When looking at the different companies, it was a no brainer when it came to selecting Young Living. They have significantly more single oils and blends than doTERRA does, you earn points through essential rewards for FREE oils (which you can also get through doTERRA), but you also get bonus gifts for various product value purchases, there is no annual fee, and also offer lines specifically for babies (seedlings) and other things like makeup and supplements. The biggest reason I chose young living is their commitment to quality. Young Living has the seed to seal program in which each step of the process from selecting the seeds to be grown to bottling the oils is heavily regulated by the highest of standards. I love that each batch of oils goes through 8 tests to ensure that it is nothing but the highest quality. I also love how Young Living doesn’t sacrifice quality for product and will scrap entire batches of oils that don’t hold up to their standards.

If I’m using essential oils on myself, and especially using them on my children I want nothing but the best. Yes, Young Living oils may be more expensive than the ones at Walmart, but you get what you pay for!

In an effort to go green and eliminate as many chemicals and toxins as I can from our lives, I am tossing out all of the household cleaners in exchange for Thieves cleaner which I can use on everything from floors, to windows, countertops to stove….and everything in between. I will not be subjecting my kids (or myself) to toxic chemicals anymore! I fought too damn hard for too damn long to get these precious boys here on earth, so why in the hell would I use products on them or around them that contain things that have been shown to cause cancer, irritate the skin and lungs and worse? I can’t do it to them!

Starting Friday, September 8th and lasting to the 15th, I am conducting an essential oils mommy and me class on Facebook. You are welcome to join if you want to learn ways you can use essential oils during pregnancy and on your babies and you to live a more natural, chemical free life. I’d love it if you joined us!

https://www.facebook.com/events/407790806290025??ti=ia

Not on Facebook but want to learn more? Send me an email at eventualmomma@gmail.com

My Tubes Are Gone

Surgery is done, and I am at home recovering…..well I’m currently sitting in bed with a 2 year old who took a nap from 4-7pm and now doesn’t want to go to bed at 1am. Any-who, my surgery went pretty well from a surgical standpoint.

We arrived to the hospital for checkin at 8:30am. After signing the consent forms, we (Ronny and I) were taken back to a room. I had to leave a urine sample for a pregnancy test – it was negative, and then put on the lovely surgery attire. My nurse for the morning happened to be the same nurse I had when they did the D&E to take Lily out. She remembered us from 7 weeks prior and commented how sorry she was we were going through all of this. I met with the surgical team as well. The doctor and anesthesiologist were the same ones that I had when I gave birth via c-section to Logan. How crazy is that!

I was finally taken back to the OR, where they had me scoot over onto the table and started all the prep work. Surgery was put on a mini hold when they couldn’t find a chlorhexidine free scrub to sterilize my belly. I drifted into La La land with the doctor holding my hand.

The entire surgery lasted just over an hour. My husband said I did really well. I barely got sick afterwards this time, but I did still have issues with tachycardia and shallow breathing. I had a major case of hives coming out of it and received numerous doses of Benadryl and something else to get it under control. I was also FREEZING, so they wheeled in a portable hot air blower thing to keep me warm.

The surgery itself went off really well. He decided to make the first incision next to my belly button instead of through my belly button because of previous surgeries there. He also made incisions near each of my hips. Once my tubes and a small amount of scar tissue from my c-section were removed, he did some exploring to make sure there wasn’t anymore scar tissue in my abdomen. There wasn’t! He was amazed because my belly button definitely looks like it’s being held in by scar tissue.

Physically, I hurt A LOT!! This is definitely a worse feeling than having Logan cut out of me and trying to recover from that. I can barely walk, laying down hurts and I feel like I broke my collar bone from the gas used to pump me up. It doesn’t help that Luke is constantly pushing on my belly because he doesn’t understand he can’t do that right now. I’m taking pain pills and whatnot, but they aren’t really cutting it.

Mentally, I’m doing okay. I’m at peace with our decision to have my tubes removed and are now looking to the future. Now that Whole Foods and amazon have merged, it will be interesting to see what happens with my husbands benefits package. Amazon covers infertility treatments through its insurance plan….whole foods does not. We’re kind of hoping that our policy stays mostly the same with the added fertility treatment coverage. If not, were looking at probably not being able to start ivf until next year.

It’s just a matter of time before my body is better

Logan’s 9 Month Appointment


As I sit here writing this, I am still amazed that I was blessed with this little boy…..and can’t believe that he is already 9 months old! Technically he has been 9 months old for 4 days now, but it still counts.

Stats: Logan is 24.5 inches tall (16%), 17 pounds 3.5 ounces (11%) and has a head circumference of 45cm (50%). His growth curve has taken a sharp decline, but the doctor isn’t super worried right now because he is doing so well with his physical and cognitive development. He gets plenty to eat in a day, so she thinks he’s just burning off his food really fast.

Logan has been crawling for months now, and is so close to walking on his own. He can walk along furniture and while holding onto someone’s hand but can’t quite keep himself upright yet on his own. He’s a very curious little boy and is always on some great adventure to discover the unknown. He loves to follow his brother around and try to do what his brother is doing.

Lo-Lo as we call him is such a good eater. We have been blessed that this little guy doesn’t appear to be allergic to anything (he does get a bit hivey if he sits in grass, but that isn’t often). We didn’t anticipate him skipping purees, but when he goes for his brothers food constantly it just sort of happened. Lo can eat though. He always seems to have something in his mouth…..food, bottle, whatever he stashed away for a snack. His all time favorite meal is pizza, and he doesn’t seem to care for sweet potatoes.

All in all, we are so incredibly blessed to be Logan’s parents. He is such a joy and we love watching him learn and grow.

Now if he would only stay little forever!