Trying to conceive took up a very large part of my life for a long time. Like so many others, trying to have a baby was a lot more work than just having sex. I had a medical condition that made conception difficult, and made it impossible to sustain the pregnancy past a few weeks (until it was resolved). When I got pregnant, I was so incredibly happy, but felt a huge void in my life. I miss peeing on tests and charting my temps. I miss the anticipation of ovulation and waiting to see if we were successful. I miss doing all the crazy things I did in the name of creating a life.
Toward the end of my pregnancy, my husband and I discussed when we would be ready to start trying to give Luke a brother or sister. I wanted to start trying right away, my husband wanted to wait until after I have had foot surgery and up to six months postpartum before not trying but not preventing. When Luke turns one we would start actively trying again. The plan was to use opks to pinpoint ovulation and figure out my fertile window in the hopes of preventing the creation of a life. We would use the pull out method the first half of my cycle, abstain during the fertile period and then just have fun after ovulation. I was originally fine with this plan………but now I’m not.
As crazy as it sounds, I’m ready to start trying again. I am so in love with my little man and can’t wait to give him a little brother or sister. Pregnancy was so hard on me physically. Sometimes I wonder if I’m nuts for wanting to go through it again. Especially so soon after having a baby. I feel guilty for wanting a second when I already have an amazing little boy. I feel like there are so many still struggling to have a first – who am I to have two or more children.
Post baby, our sex life has been great. Well……almost. I was fine with prevention via pull out, until it actually happens. I didn’t realize how badly I would feel. This may be TMI, but after we have our fun I feel badly about myself when he doesn’t finish inside me. I know it’s dumb, but I miss that connection and intimate moment shared.
At the end of the day, I already to start ttc again, but I don’t think my husband is.
Eventual Momma 
Wow! How exciting that you want to start TTC again! That is inspiring to me bc I always wonder if I will be okay after I (hopefully) one day have my first take home baby. Dont feel bad for wanting to expand your family…I think its great. Best of luck when u decide to finally start!
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I can relate. I would gladly be pregnant again if I could be. I hope the 2 of you can come to an agreement on when to try again. Waiting 6 months may be better for your body but yes, that plan of prevention is no fun. 😦
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I was always astounded that anyone would want another baby during the baby stage as I found it so hard!! So while I can’t relate for who I was back then I can relate for how I feel now. I agree that sex without that intimate moment isn’t really the same. I hope you can figure out what is right for you both and come to an agreement. 🙂
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Part of me feels badly about wanting another one right now. Like I’m taking something away from Luke.
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I totally relate. I wanted baby 2 before I was cleared for sex. We won’t start trying until one year as well.
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Maybe we’ll be pregnant together lol
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Oooh! Fun. Yes.
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I was 100% in this boat too. Until a woman in my birth month group got pregnant 3 months postpartum and we all started revisiting what it was like to be pregnant, and then tried to imagine doing all of that with an infant. When the reality of that started settling in, for me, I changed my tune! The expense, the stress, most of all- I looked at G and thought that I waited and waited and WAITED for her for so long…. I at least wanted to dedicate her first year of life solely to enjoying her.
The woman in my birth month group is now going through morning sickness, and trying to take care of a baby at the same time and is having a really really hard time coping. It was really sobering.
That being said- you really have to consider what is best for YOU and YOUR family. There’s never any 1 size fits all family plan – so dont let anyone or anything make you feel guilty for growing your family the way that best fits you!!
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Thanks V! The only people really against it at this point is the doctors and a few family members. At this point it’ll happen when it happens.
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I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this post, because I can’t really imagine how I would feel myself in that position. But I will say that I hope you can both come to some kind of mutual decision, so that you can find some peace about it all. Try not to stress too much!
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