Things I’ve Never Told Anyone About My Pregnancy and Delivery

I am a member of a few groups on Facebook, and in one particular group quite a few women who once struggled with fertility are nearing the end of their pregnancies. It really got me thinking about when we were trying to have a baby the first time, and all of the quacky little things that I haven’t ever told anyone (and maybe some stuff I did tell a select group of people). I thought I would share those today.

1. Ronny and I probably had a few unknown pregnancies before we officially started trying. I could not remember to take my pill religiously and would occasionally have very clotted and heavy “periods.” No, I wasn’t trapping him into a relationship. Yes, he knew when I wouldn’t take my pill. No he didn’t monitor them.
2. Our first cycle trying, I took a pregnancy test every single day from the day my period stopped, until the day it started again. Boy was that an expensive cycle.
3. The reason that we got pregnant with Luke the cycle before we started medicated IUI cycles, is because I kinda did an in home insemination. My husband and I weren’t able to dtd (do the deed) in the 3 days leading up to ovulation. I was quite upset so the day I ovulated, my husband offered to do his business in a sterile cup and I used a sterile syringe to get his swimmers up where they needed to be. 9 months later we had Luke.
4. While I was pregnant, I hid just how sick I was from my husband and family. There were nights that I would wait until Ronny went to bed and would sleep in the bathroom so that I could puke without having to get out of bed.
5. I survived the entire pregnancy without taking prenatal vitamins, not drinking a single glass of water and only ate fruits or veggies a handful of times. I drank nothing but Orange Crush and ate either Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, ice cream or peach smoothies for just about every meal. I also had a large caramel frappe from McDonalds every single day.
6. On Friday after being sent home from the hospital (two days before Luke was born) Ronny and I went bowling. I had such intense contractions the entire time that I went and cried in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. It was the scariest bathroom I’ve ever been in.
7. That same night, I rotated between the shower and the toilet all night long. I’d hate to say it, but we probably went through 2 thousand gallons of water before we decided to go to the hospital. Sorry Mother Earth.
8. I peed my pants at least twice a day the entire time I was pregnant. I can’t blame it on Luke either because he didn’t press on my bladder until the very end of my pregnancy. I still pee my pants at least once every week or two.
9. When Ronny and I got to the hospital, I ended up being wheel chaired into labor and delivery because I couldn’t move when we got to the door. What I never told anyone is that I could still walk just fine. I was literally scared stiff and wanted to turn around and go home.
10. When the nurse broke my water, it gushed all over Ronny’s favorite shirt and shorts. Sorry honey.
11. I mastered disguising my pain. While everyone thought the morphine was doing it’s job and taking the edge off, I was pushing the button every couple seconds. In the 18 or so hours that I was on morphine, I only got 108 “doses” of morphine. According to the final notes, I pushed the button over 10,000 times. Oops.
12. Before we went to the hospital, I made Ronny take a picture of my butt crack. I read (which is true) that as your cervix dilates a purple line travels from your butt hole to the top of your butt crack. I made him check to see if it was a real thing and when he said there was a purple line, I made him take a picture of it.
13. The doctor who delivered Luke had never delivered a baby before…..and he was more scared than I was.
14. Luke spent the first 2 hours of his life in the NICU with Ronny. That part isn’t a secret. What is a secret is that I am VERY jealous that my husband got to spend the first 2 hours of Luke’s life with him, and I didn’t.
15. And the biggest secret of all……..I almost rolled over him when I fell asleep nursing him in the middle of the night. The screech he let out scared the crap out of me and Ronny both and sent the nurses running to make sure everything was okay.

What secret do you have?