When God Has Other Plans

Hello all! Life sure has taken a turn from what it was a few years ago when I could do what I want when I want. I now have VERY little time to do anything I want to do, and even less time to actually do it. While I enjoyed the spontaneity of married life with no children, I also loved to plan things out. Now that I’m a mom of 2 happy, energetic boys, I still love to plan things out. Why, I have no idea….nothing ever works out as planned anyways.

Whenever I make a plan, it usually doesn’t work out the way that I wanted it to. Most of the time I get upset in that moment, but once all is said and done realize that what actually happened was just as okay as what I had planned. It’s funny looking at things now though. I can’t see the big picture of my life. I have no idea what is really going to happen tomorrow, a month from now or even 10 years from now. Looking back at events from my past, it seems as if everything that didn’t work out as planned, has actually worked out perfectly to get me where I am, and who knows what impact it will have on my future (and the futures of my family members).

When we had Logan, the plan was for me to go on birth control to give my body a break and let it heal up. My husband and I were in disagreement on when we would try again, but we were for sure giving it at least a year before we really even talked about it. In the meantime, we planned to buy a house and work on paying off some of our debt.

Well, we did buy a house. It isn’t in the neighborhood I had planned on…. and is way more than I planned on spending for a smaller house than I planned on. BUT, its exactly what we need for right now.

While I was pregnant with Logan, I developed carpal tunnel. We thought it would go away when the baby swelling went down, but it didn’t. As such, I had carpal tunnel release surgery on both wrists. The doctor did my right hand first in March. In addition to carpal tunnel, he found fluid in the cavity and calcification on the tendon. He drained the fluid, removed the calcification’s and released the nerve. He also gave me a huge dose of a super antibiotic just in case. We did the exact same thing to my left hand in April.

While we were packing up and moving, I got (and then gave my husband) the biggest shock of our life. On May 2nd, I was in the bathroom, working on packing the medicine cabinet when I came across a single pregnancy test. I started thinking about it and realized that my period, which normally came a week before my placebo pills started, hadn’t come yet. I was really crampy and nauseous, so I figured my period was on the way. Looking at the calendar, I was about a week and a half late from when my period would normally start, and about 4 days late from when it should have started if the pills were working like they should. Ironically, I already had an appointment with the OB to switch birth control pills because I didn’t think they were working like they should.

I went ahead and took the test, thinking that for sure it would come back negative. Not only was I taking the pill religiously (10:30 am every single morning), but we were also using a spermicidal lubricant (and as parents of 2 under 2, romantic times are few and far between). I was SHOCKED when a second line started appearing on the test. I immediately turned around and threw up, and walked out of the bathroom stark white. My mom asked me what was wrong and I started crying and said, “Ronny’s gonna kill me, I’m pregnant.”

When I called the OB’s office to find out what to do, they asked if I had taken any antibiotics. I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently antibiotics reduce the effectiveness of birth control pills. Ronny was pretty mad that no one told us to be careful, knowing that I was only 5 months postpartum, and knowing that I shouldn’t even be considering another one for at least 8 more months or so. But at the same time, we were using spermicidal lubricant so we should have been okay.

The OB confirmed the pregnancy via quantitative blood test. My first beta was 39, my second 227. By somewhat rudimentary calculations, we are assuming that I’m roughly 6 weeks along today. Looking at the calendar, I ovulated roughly on April 18th and ironically implanted the day we signed the paperwork to purchase the house.

This baby was determined to be here. Not only did he or (hopefully she) make it through 2 different forms of birth, but the sperm also hung around for 4-5 days waiting for an egg to appear.

I am already suffering the effects of HG again. In fact, I’ve lost 4 pounds this week due to the nausea and vomiting. I am on 3 different medications: diclegis, zofran and phenergan to help, but it doesn’t seem to touch it. I am trying my best to stay hydrated and eat when I can so that we can hopefully avoid the PICC line and some of the complications of last time.

We have no idea what is going to happen with this pregnancy, but we do know that this is the last time I will be pregnant. Right now we (my husband, our OB and myself) are thinking that this baby is going to come via c-section, at which time I will have my tubes tied. While I don’t want to permanently close the door on more children, I also know that I cannot through another pregnancy like my last one. For my safety and the safety of my children, this is just something that has to be done.

Only time will tell what is going to happen, but whatever happens, we know that GOD has our best interest at heart.



11 thoughts on “When God Has Other Plans

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