In my previous post, I mentioned Logan having a few potential problems. At the time I couldn’t even talk about it without bursting into tears. In fact, thinking about what’s going on with him, and what it would mean for his future still brings me to tears. So many people have reached out concerned for every one and it has allowed me to talk about it now.
The first thing going on is actually with Luke. A while back I noticed that one of Luke’s feet turns in when he walks. I hadn’t given it much thought, but brought it up with his pediatrician at his 15 month appointment. She saw what I had mentioned, and wants to keep an eye on it. She said that toddler bones and ligaments are still developing and setting where they will be, so his gait could straighten out on its own….or it could not and he would need to wear a special brace to train his legs to go the correct way when he walks. Only time will tell with that.
I also mentioned that his rib cage curves out like mine does. For those of you who don’t know, I have a concave Chest. We are watching this too, as it has the potential to cause some not so great side effects.
Logan isn’t free from things too. At his 2 week appointment he was still testing positive for blood in his poop. We moved him to elecare to see if that would be better. Not that big of a deal, but still kind of sucky.
At birth, I noticed what appeared to me to be a funny looking butt crack. His butt has a very deep dimple at the top, and a bit of a curve to it. I asked the pediatrician to take a peek when she came to visit in the hospital, thinking she would say it was normal. She didn’t….. She said that it does look weird and could possibly be either spina bifida or a tethered cord. Given the way his back and butt look and my medical history with spina bifida occulta, they are sending us to get an ultrasound of his back to make sure everything is okay. What is concerning is that there is family history of spina bifida, and spina bifida can be a contributing factor in breech babies. If it’s a tethered cord, he will need surgery to untether the cord to spare him a life of pain.
I already mentioned the possibility of Logan’s hips being in the wrong position. We have to go in for an ultrasound to check. The pediatrician said she would be surprised if they were out of socket based on the way she can move his hips….but he cries any time we manipulate his legs so who knows.
The other thing that is going on with Logan is he has a tiny umbilical hernia. Right now we are just going to keep an eye on it and see if it resolves on its own as Logan grows. Since he was a bit early, his abdominal muscles aren’t as strong as a full term baby’s and it could just need time to strengthen. If at anytime it gets bigger, or gets stuck out, we are to go immediately to the er where he will be prepped to repair it.
Finally, Logan appears to have a chordee like his older brother. We couldn’t tell when he was just new, but as he’s getting older and growing it is much more noticeable that his penis is curving downward just as Luke’s did. This isn’t a super big deal right now, but will require surgery to repair.
So…..I’m stressed! It’s hard to know that so many things that have the potential for problems could be going on with my tiniest baby. He’s such a sweet and very serious little man. I just want the absolute best for him. I want them both to live a normal, healthy, pain free life. The mom guilt, knowing that my babies may have problems is so unreal. Mentally I know that I did everything I could to keep them happy, healthy and alive…..but emotionally I am beating myself up hardcore knowing that they maybe wouldn’t have the problems if I wasn’t so sick and didn’t have so much other stuff going on when I was pregnant. I feel like any and all problems they may have are my fault, and I can’t bear to think about the future because I feel so bad.
If you could just send positive thoughts and prayers our way….