While I know that I am an absolutely amazing mom, I can’t help but feel like the worst mom ever right now. I have literally been reduced to tears a number of times now and feel absolutely horrible.
I have an amazing son. He is such a smart, inquisitive and loving little boy. He absolutely loves to interact with other people…. waving at them, “talking” to them and observing what others do. He is so incredibly interested in other children, especially those around his own age. On the few occasions where he has had a chance to play and interact with other kids, he is either 1) ignored or 2) treated badly.
Luke is such a loving boy. He will share whatever he has with whoever is around. He loves to give other kids hugs and will try to hand them whatever he is playing with so they can have a turn too. When we are at the store, he waves to other kids and tries to get their attention. There have been a few occasions where another child roughly his own age will play with him, but for the most part the other kids either run away from him or physically put their hands on him (push him, hit him, knock him down).
Luke normally doesn’t seem to mind, but today was the first time I saw in his eyes how much he longs for that interaction……and I feel absolutely horrible because I physically cannot take him anywhere by myself to play with other children. I don’t want him around children that are taught that it’s okay to hit, to tease or take whatever they please. I want him around kind, gentle, loving children.
It breaks my heart to watch my son try so desperately to interact with others, knowing that I can’t take him anywhere where that can happen. My amazing son has a beautiful soul, and it is being held back because of me. Play dates fall through, plans change…..something always happens and he misses out on the opportunities he needs to play with others.
I know that in a few weeks he’s going to have a permanent play mate, but until Logan is big enough to play with, Luke is still on his own. I can only do so much…..his dad can only do so much……and together it still isn’t fulfilling the need for him.
I don’t know…… I just feel bad.