Worst Mom Ever

While I know that I am an absolutely amazing mom, I can’t help but feel like the worst mom ever right now. I have literally been reduced to tears a number of times now and feel absolutely horrible.

I have an amazing son. He is such a smart, inquisitive and loving little boy. He absolutely loves to interact with other people…. waving at them, “talking” to them and observing what others do. He is  so incredibly interested in other children, especially those around his own age. On the few occasions where he has had a chance to play and interact with other kids, he is either 1) ignored or 2) treated badly.

Luke is such a loving boy. He will share whatever he has with whoever is around. He loves to give other kids hugs and will try to hand them whatever he is playing with so they can have a turn too. When we are at the store, he waves to other kids and tries to get their attention. There have been a few occasions where another child roughly his own age will play with him, but for the most part the other kids either run away from him or physically put their hands on him (push him, hit him, knock him down).

Luke normally doesn’t seem to mind, but today was the first time I saw in his eyes how much he longs for that interaction……and I feel absolutely horrible because I physically cannot take him anywhere by myself to play with other children. I don’t want him around children that are taught that it’s okay to hit, to tease or take whatever they please. I want him around kind, gentle, loving children.

It breaks my heart to watch my son try so desperately to interact with others, knowing that I can’t take him anywhere where that can happen. My amazing son has a beautiful soul, and it is being held back because of me. Play dates fall through, plans change…..something always happens and he misses out on the opportunities he needs to play with others.

I know that in a few weeks he’s going to have a permanent play mate, but until Logan is big enough to play with, Luke is still on his own. I can only do so much…..his dad can only do so much……and together it still isn’t fulfilling the need for him.

I don’t know…… I just feel bad.


9 thoughts on “Worst Mom Ever

  1. Do you have any friends who have kids close to his age, that could come over to your place? I’d hope they would be understanding of your situation and be willing to come to you. Otherwise, maybe a day of play group/day care type of thing where you drop him off? I don’t know what you have in your area, but hopefully that helps?

    Liked by 1 person

    • These would be my suggestions too. Hitting is never ok but some kids do this sort of thing when they are little and figuring out the world. My son is an absolute sweetheart and not one to be mean to other kids at all but at about 2 he started to pull hair. I was mortified and eventually I got him to stop it (took about 6 weeks). I am sure other mums hated it while it lasted but just because he did it didn’t mean that I condoned it. Kids are all just working out their behaviours when they are this little. I mean, yeah, there are some real nasty ones who are like this usually because they have poor examples at home but honestly, at this age, it’s not that common. Everyone is just trying their best and kids act out in weird ways. I hope you guys can find a nice playgroup or similar that you can go to together. It sounds like Luke would really enjoy the opportunity and it is nice social time for you too if you can find a nice one!

      Liked by 3 people

      • The problem lies in the few that I do know of whereas hitting, taking things from others and teasing are all “normal and accepted behaviors”. I’m sorry, but I refuse to let my son be around other children who think it is okay to hit because their parents do not teach them otherwise. Luke is definitely in a stage right now where he hits himself or us when he is frustrated. I don’t condone the behavior and usually try to redirect or put him in time out…..but like you said it’s a phase. It’s when the children are definitely old enough to know better and do so anyways because they know mom/dad won’t do anything about it. I need for my husband to help me take him places (which he’s willing to do on his days off), and/or to not be pregnant and limited by what I can/can’t do without sending myself directly to L&D from overdoing it


    • Our place is so small and everyone is too far away. Day care/play group is out of the question right now as I can’t really afford it with starting a business up and am iffy on the whole thing with his allergies


  2. I understand but yet, we can’t really protect our kids from these things forever. Unfortunately. And I say that as a mom who has definitely been saddened by seeing my kids be treated badly by – let’s be frank here – BRATS! But I’ve also seen my kids perpetrate before (and STOPPED them) so I know how embarrassing it can be when your own kid is making another kid cry by stealing toys and so on. Basically, it’s probably healthy for them to experience the world and being around friends even if it’s not entirely fair because …. life. Just my thoughts. Not trying to be judgy or pushy. So sorry if it comes out that way.

    Liked by 2 people

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