It’s no secret that Ronny and I have started trying to give Luke a brother or a sister. I’m really open about our struggles, and our successes in the whole (in)fertility department. I personally feel that the (in)ability to conceive is brushed under the rug, and not spoken about unless things are going well. No, I don’t share the nitty gritty details on our intimate life……but if someone asked, I wouldn’t shy away from the subject.
In all honesty, we go back and forth daily, questioning whether or not we want to have two children right now. With all of Luke’s “issues” is it wise to go through what will surely be another far from perfect pregnancy, and bring another child into the world…..probably with issues of their own? We always come back to the mentality that it will happen when it happens though.
That being said, cycle 2 did not result in a pregnancy. Aunt Flow arrived today, just as I thought she would. A part of me is sad that it didn’t happen this cycle. I’m sad and angry that so many people can conceive either without trying or on their first cycle trying, and here we are again. The bigger part of me knew that it wasn’t going to happen this cycle anyways. I’m glad that we started now, because I feel like it could possibly take awhile, just like last time. I couldn’t imagine having decided to wait a year or more to start trying, and then take a long time to get pregnant again.
This past cycle was virtually identical to my pre-pregnancy cycles. I ovulated on cycle day 17, which is a normal ovulation for me…….and had a 14 day luteal phase. My body has regulated pretty quickly, which can only be a good thing. I’m really happy that it went back to my “normal” and didn’t really change all that much. Now I know what to expect with the next cycle.
I have discovered that I have some normal mid cycle cramping and aches, which is a normal for me. The nausea that I experienced from 9-11 dpo I am attributing to nerves from Luke’s surgery and not eating dinner.
So where does that leave us now? I am trying really hard not to stress too much about having a baby right now, and just letting nature (with the help of ovulation tests and semi timed intercourse) take its course. A big step from where we used to be to now is that so far I haven’t put the pressure of having to conceive right now on either of us. I remain hopeful that we will be able to conceive on our own soon, and will continue to have faith that it will happen when it’s supposed too.