Luke’s surgery is in exactly 16 hours, and I am freaking out. I go back and forth with wanting to run and hide, and going through with the surgery. I know that we are going to go through with the surgery regardless…..Luke has to have it for health reasons now, and fertility reasons in the future. I’m just a scared momma. So I’ve spent the day mentally and physically preparing.
Here in about an hour I am going to give him his Prevacid dose. We are doing something different with this than originally prescribed, but I’ll talk about that in another post. He will then have his first dose of Amicar – an oral medication to help him with clotting in the off chance he did inherit my platelet disorder – at 10:30 tonight. He can continue to have formula up until 3am, and then can only have Pedialyte until 7. He’ll have his second dose of Amicar between 6:30 and 7 (and possibly his Prevacid dose depending on what the anesthesiologist says tonight when he calls). We have to be to the hospital by 8 am to check in and get ready.
As of tonight, I have all of his meds drawn up and ready to go for the evening. He’s currently trying to nap in the swing while I blog and get everything ready. I need to pack a bag for the hospital on the off chance that we do end up staying the night. I’d rather have a bag with pajamas and clothes for tomorrow and not use them, than Luke end up staying and have to go home for clothes. I also need to make sure I have plenty of clean bottles and extra formula and diapers for while he is there. I am so nervous that the nurses are going to give him regular formula and put him in Pamper diapers.
I have his going outfit and his coming home outfit all picked out and ready to go. I have some new Star Wars blankets for him that I am going to sleep with tonight so that they get my scent on them for tomorrow. The only thing I don’t have (and I don’t know if I need) is gauze for his little pee pee if I have to change the bandages. I can get that tomorrow with his pain meds.
I also just got a call from the guest teacher supervisor through the school district I work for. Since finding out I was expecting Luke, I have been terminated 3 times…..and reinstated 3 times. This last termination was last week when my leave was up, because I hadn’t secured another Para position, despite talking to the human resource lady about going back into the sub pool if I couldn’t find a job. So they apparently reinstated me, and as long as I pick up 5 sub jobs a month I’ll be okay.
This is where it gets tricky. Luke is obviously having surgery tomorrow, so I won’t be able to start for a few weeks. Depending on what’s going on with his belly, I may have to wait even longer. Ronny said he would watch Luke for a couple of hours while I worked a half day on his days off. It will generate a small amount of extra income, but I will be away from my baby 4 hours once a week. I’m not sure I want that.
After Lukes surgery I need to evaluate whether or not I want to continue working for the district or if I want to put in my letter of resignation and work from home. I’ve been trying to get a few things up and running including daily vlogs on my YouTube channel, getting my parent reviews website up and going, and figuring out other ways to make money from home.
I don’t know what I am going to do right now, but at least I have options for the time being.