I don’t think anyone in the world would be surprised when I say that I am a worrier by nature. I worry about EVERYTHING, and that worry causes huge amounts of stress. Some of it is warranted stress, but a lot is not. I realized that I must be highly stressed (and probably a bit hormonal) when I got my second cold sore in a week. I used to get them once a month but that went away when I entered college. Now I only get them when my hormones change, or when I am super stressed.
I don’t know why it takes a cold sore to tell me I’m stressed. I can feel it slowly creeping up on me. The thing is, I like to bury it just deep enough to take the edge off, but not deep enough to where it doesn’t bother me. Eventually the stress builds up enough and I explode into an ugly cry, angry, lock myself in the closet mess.
So, I’m doing what I know how to do: take some time to de-stress and then reassess my stresses and see what is a minor nuisance not worth the stress it’s causing. Here is a list of the things that are stressing me out, and what I can do to release the stress.
- Luke’s upcoming surgery – This is a HUGE stressor in my life right now. Unfortunately, I don’t think this stress is going to go away until Luke is out of surgery and well on the road to recovery. Truth be told – I am terrified that he is going to react to anesthesia the way I do and it isn’t going to go well for him. I’m also scared just for the fact that he’s so little and going in for a surgery.
- Luke’s apparent relapse in reflux – Poor guy has started vomiting so much more than he was this past couple of weeks. I thought we were doing pretty well because he wasn’t throwing up as much and not crying nearly as much in pain when he did throw up. This past few weeks though, his vomiting has not only gotten back to the point that it was at before, but it sends Luke into a crying painful fit each time. I have a call in to the GI who said that he would like to schedule the Upper GI and ultrasound to see what’s going on….and if that’s negative would recommend an endoscopy and something else. I just don’t understand why it isn’t getting better. I give him the meds religiously, he only has Elecare……and still the reflux! I don’t forsee this stress going away any time in the near future either. Either we find out what is causing it, or we don’t. Either way it isn’t going away yet.
- Money – Who doesn’t stress about money? With Luke’s surgery and all the doctor visits, we are dipping into our savings. Naturally I am worried that we can’t sustain ourselves on Ronny’s income alone and I will have to go back to work. Either way we always make things work out so this stress can go away. We just have to be a bit attentive to what we are spending and try to save where we can.
- Sleep – or lack thereof. I don’t quite know why my sleeping schedule is stressing me out so much. I can’t really do anything to change it. I just need to maximize my napping and try to nap when Luke does, even if it’s just a quick 10 minute snooze. His sleep will hopefully get better as we find out what is going on with his tummy. This is just going to be put on the back burner for now.
- Dinner – dinner stresses me out every single day. I’m sure everyone has the conversation “what do you want for dinner?” “I don’t know, what do you want?” Just tell me what you want for dinner! Not only does the question what do you want for dinner stress me out, but the thought that I am going to get half way through making something and realize that we don’t actually have a major ingredient OMG. I am implementing a plan to help with this by creating a monthly or weekly menu. I’m also compiling a list of crockpot meals that will make dinner prep quick and easy. Stress GONE.
- The current state of our apartment – Let me just say, I am not a filthy person. That being said, there is a certain amount of clutter in our apartment that gives it a lived in feel. Unfortunately, I constantly feel like I am behind in the housework area. Truth be told, Luke’s room is a bit of a disaster right now because I emptied 3 dresser drawers onto the floor looking for his froggy jacket that was in our room the whole time. I did some googling and think I am going to get the whole house cleaned up, and then have a chore a day type thing to keep up with it. Stress GONE!
- Fertility – just as much as TTC stresses you out when you are faced with infertility…… trying again after child birth is a whole new level of stress. I’m constantly questioning whether or not I’m even ovulating yet, is my cycle going to return to my pre-pregnancy state or has it changed, are we going to face another 2 years of trying before we get pregnant again, can I handle pregnancy and an infant……the list goes on and on.
I think those are the major stressors and what I am doing to try to combat the stress. Thank you cold sore…… you can go now.