I don’t know if I really have a normal anymore, but whatever I’ve been feeling this past two`weeks was as far from normal as could be. This surgery on my foot took a lot more out of me than I thought it would. I guess I just didn’t realize how much having a nerve removed from my foot would hurt afterwards. At the moment it is a combination of what I assume it feels like to step on a sting ray, and the painful pins and needles feeling when your legs fall asleep. It’s eaten me alive mentally/emotionally as well.
I thought that I would be able to take care of Luke after the procedure. He’s little, and doesn’t move around much…..how hard could it be? I was so tired, and in so much pain, that I relied pretty heavily on Ronny and my mom to help me take care of Luke. They did pretty much everything for me while I either slept or sat on the couch/in bed with ice on my foot. Little man didn’t really understand what was going on, but figured out pretty quickly that Daddy and Grammie could do the same things momma could. It was rough on me seeing Luke wanting to be with daddy instead of me.
I got sort of depressed, and took a hiatus from a lot of things. But now I am back to feeling somewhat normal. My foot still hurts and all (stitches come out Friday), but I can do just about everything for Luke again. He does still light up when daddy walks in the room, and follows him with his eyes. I guess it’s good that he loves to spend time with daddy.
I am starting to kind of figure out a schedule for Luke. Well kind of anyways. I am still letting him dictate when he is going to do what. He usually wakes up and eats, plays for a little while and then takes a nap a few hours after he wakes up. He sleeps anywhere from an hour to three hours and we repeat the process. He is usually asleep for the night sometime between 11pm and 12am. He semi wakes up around 4:30am for food and then wakes back up about 4 hours later to start the day. Anything else is still a work in progress.
I don’t know how normal life is going to be for the next 2 months though. We are moving in mid December and I am starting to (try) going through and getting rid of things we no longer need. It is difficult for me to get rid of anything. One would say I should have been born during the depression. I am thrifty, frugal and down right sentimental. My current goal is to watch every DVD that we have in alphabetical order. I don’t know if I’ll make it but at least its a goal.
Tomorrow Luke turns 12 weeks…..watch out for that post.