Luke Edward Allen: 1 Week Old

Its late at night, my little snuggled into his favorite sleeping spot….right between my legs, his daddy asleep next to me. I can’t stop staring at the two of them. The man of my dreams gave me the best gift ever. It was a long journey to get where we are and I cannot believe how far we have come!

  
Luke is doing amazingly well all things considered. We had a few small scares while in the hospital and after we brought him home. In the hospital, Luke’s blood was clotting too quickly, which may or may not signify a bleeding disorder. We have to go to Children’s Hospital for blood testing at his 2 month appointment. His bilirubin was also incredibly high, but further blood testing showed it wasn’t high enough to warrant a trip to the tanning booth. He did absolutely love the warmer though. 

At home the two of us are definitely learning as we go. Our biggest struggle is with feeding. I was always told to feed on demand. Well…..my little likes to sleep and when paired with a slow to form milk supply, he lost over a pound in 3 days. We are working on catching him up by breast feeding from both sides for 20 minutes followed by pumping for 20 minutes and mixing what I pump with formula to supplement. He seems to be gaining now! 

  
His favorite things in life right now are snuggling with mommy and daddy, eating, and napping between moms legs. He absolutely hates diaper changes, farting and baths.

And how is mom? Physically I am doing amazingly well. I wasn’t sore for very long, aside from a nagging pain on my right side and some lower back pain. My vagina will occasionally burn if I move the wrong way, but it’s no longer swollen and funny looking. Hopefully it will return to normal some time this week. Most of the swelling has gone down so I am looking more like myself. In fact I have dropped 18 pounds as of today! 

Mentally, I’m kind of all over the place. I do alright most of the day, but when the sun sets I can’t seem to stop crying. I cry because I am happy, I cry because I’m sad, I cry because I’m overwhelmed, I cry because I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job, I cry because I can’t believe I carried this precious child inside of me, and I cry because my body starts to hurt. Breast feeding isn’t going the way I wanted it too, and that is weighing heavily on me. I didn’t want to have to feed my tiny formula or have a bottle or pacifier for 4-6 weeks. Circumstances changed and we are using a breast feeding/formula feeding combo with the pacifier at night to soothe him. It’s difficult knowing my son lost so much weight because of me. I tried my best but it wasn’t good enough. 

  
As we start week 2 I know things will get better. I just love my little man!

   
    
    
    
    
 
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21 thoughts on “Luke Edward Allen: 1 Week Old

  1. I’m glad everyone is doing so well! Please, try not to be so hard on yourself for breastfeeding, remember the most important thing is feeding and in the scheme of his life, this is pretty minor. Keep doing you best and everything will work out. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Also, thanks for sharing so many photos. He sure is cute!

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    • Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m working on being ok with the breast feeding issue. It’s only temporary, just at times overwhelming for me. He is really doing well going from breast to bottle. I’m proud of him

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  2. Awwwwww he so soooo cute! Don’t stress too much about the feeding. Also has anyone mentioned to you how it is normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight in the week following birth? I think Luke may have lost a bit more than that and I understand your concern but just wanted to pass that tidbit on. Don’t crucify yourself! We did some formula top ups in the first week as my milk took aaaaaages to come in and we just stopped it once my boobs were ready and baby was none the wiser and gained well after that. So it’s not too late for you to change to that if you are desperate to do breast only. Just do what keeps you sane hon and what keeps Luke happy and healthy. Nice to see you all settling in well. And wow on the weight loss already. That’s a lot!! Must have had a bit of fluid hanging around in there you poor thing!

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  3. Oh man, do I know what you’re talking about! My girl was 7lb1oz when she was born, and in less than a week she dropped to 5lb14oz. Being a first time mom and having never done this before, I didn’t know that my milk supply was pretty much non existent. I figured, babies are supposed to cry, right? Imagine my horror when I realized her crying was from hunger. My poor child was starving and almost ended up jaundiced and I felt terribly guilty. At that point I realized formula was a gift from heaven and that I would have fed her grass if I thought it was what she needed. You try your best to make it happen, but don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out. And let me tell you – almost 2.5 years later, she has never once had an ear infection, never anything more serious than a head cold, never had bronchitis and never once thrown up. I know they say breast is best, but there is nothing wrong with my baby as a result of being exclusively formula fed!
    I too was an emotional wreck the first week home. My husband cooked and cleaned and held her while I sort of stumbled around the house in a stupor, trying to wrap my head around what just happened to me. The first time I took a shower and felt my now empty belly I broke down sobbing and felt like a complete idiot. Instead of feeling like I’ve gained a baby, I was feeling sad because I lost a pregnancy. All of a sudden I was just one person again and I didn’t know what to think of that. Being pregnant was easy for me, I knew what to do; but how am I supposed to be a mom now? The baby never came with an instruction manual.
    And yet again, here she is today; I’ve managed not to drop her on her head or break her in any way, and she seems so happy most of the time. Loving them is really all that matters.
    Congrats to you and your husband, and enjoy being a family.

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  4. Thanks you so much for sharing your journey with us! I know how much you want to breastfeed your baby boy–don’t give up! It is something that both you and Luke have to learn together–you guys will figure each other out eventually!

    He’s absolutely beautiful. Well done, Mommy and Daddy โค

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  5. Luke is absolutely beautiful, congratulations! Please be easy on yourself with breast-feeding. You’re going to have good days and bad days . As long as Luke is healthy and happy that’s all that matters. If it makes you feel any better we had to switch to formula after two weeks because I wasn’t producing any milk at all save for an once a day. I too felt like my body failed me and my child but he’s on formula and happy and gaining weight so I had to remove my guilt. You do the best you can. It’s also totally normal to cry… I cried almost every single day sometimes multiple times a day for the first month for many of the same reasons. Nights were hard on me and I barely slept out of fear of him not breathing which only made my emotions even more erratic. He’ll be seven weeks tomorrow and I feel like my emotions are just starting to level out a little. Love the pics! Keep them coming! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. He’s adorable! He’s got your nose!!
    It’s all very difficult. I cried so much for three weeks. And like you, feeding wasn’t going great…least me being in pain all the time.
    I’m glad you’re happy & getting into the groove. Enjoy him! Even when you’re exhausted, snuggle lots and lots because one day they won’t wanna do that new born snuggle for hours ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  7. I know so few people who didn’t need a bit of formula. Charlie had several days of it in the beginning. We’ve been EBF for seven of her eight weeks now and love it, but she would be just as healthy and happy if we had stuck to formula, I fully believe that.

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  8. I think your story proves the need for new Mom’s to be flexible. Baby’s health is #1 priority. If you need a little formula to get there, that’s ok. Just like tcc-ing, we gotta keep the end goal in mind – a happy healthy little man. ๐Ÿ™‚

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