Something happened the other day at the grocery store, something that bothered me way more than it should have. Something that I can’t seem to shake. While doing our normal shopping, I couldn’t help but notice a woman staring at me as I sat in a chair by the registers as Ronny worked his way through our groceries in the self checkout line. The look in her eyes is one that I have had many times. One of jealousy, spite, anger and heart ache. Her eyes spoke of a longing and desire that I have known all too well. While I don’t know her story, I could tell that she was going through something. I wanted to run up and hug her. I wanted to tell her that I knew what she was going through…..I had been there too.
The look on her face made me think about the phrase, “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” This statement couldn’t be more true. To the woman in the grocery store I was just another pregnant woman, rubbing my ability to conceive in her face (or maybe not, maybe I am judging her too). When you look at me, you don’t see the back story. You can’t tell that I struggled to conceive, that I lost 3 babies in the process and that I am scared every single day. You don’t see how much of a toll this journey has taken on my body and my soul. To the outside world, I am another pregnant woman who could probably stand to have more fruits and veggies in the basket and less cake.
In thinking of this encounter, I started to contemplate the phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” I’ve honestly never given this metaphor much thought. I know that it is saying things always look better on the other side of an issue. I had a light bulb moment when I really started thinking about it. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s just different grass. What do I mean by this?
I constantly catch myself with the mentality that if something happens, then everything will be alright. When we were struggling to conceive I would say things like, “if I can just get through this test, I can get pregnant,” or “if I could just get pregnant and have a baby everything will be OK.” I said it about life things too…..”if I could just get a car, everything will be easier,” or “if I could just pay this bill everything will be OK,” and “if I could just buy a house this would all be better.” Now that I am pregnant though, I realize that the grass I was grazing on while trying to conceive was just a different kind of grass. Things didn’t get better when I got pregnant, they are just different. When Luke comes things won’t be better then either, they will just be different again.
With each obstacle, things will always seem brighter on the other side. With each hurdle you jump, each obstacle you overcome – things won’t be better, they will just be different. You’ll have a new obstacle, a new hurdle, something else to try to knock you off your feet. Enjoy the pasture you are in. Once you have moved on, you are going to miss the grass you came from.
What obstacles are in your way? What do you think would make things better in your life?