Is The Grass Is Always Greener?

Something happened the other day at the grocery store, something that bothered me way more than it should have. Something that I can’t seem to shake. While doing our normal shopping, I couldn’t help but notice a woman staring at me as I sat in a chair by the registers as Ronny worked his way through our groceries in the self checkout line. The look in her eyes is one that I have had many times. One of jealousy, spite, anger and heart ache. Her eyes spoke of a longing and desire that I have known all too well. While I don’t know her story, I could tell that she was going through something. I wanted to run up and hug her. I wanted to tell her that I knew what she was going through…..I had been there too.

The look on her face made me think about the phrase, “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” This statement couldn’t be more true. To the woman in the grocery store I was just another pregnant woman, rubbing my ability to conceive in her face (or maybe not, maybe I am judging her too). When you look at me, you don’t see the back story. You can’t tell that I struggled to conceive, that I lost 3 babies in the process and that I am scared every single day. You don’t see how much of a toll this journey has taken on my body and my soul. To the outside world, I am another pregnant woman who could probably stand to have more fruits and veggies in the basket and less cake.

In thinking of this encounter, I started to contemplate the phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” I’ve honestly never given this metaphor much thought. I know that it is saying things always look better on the other side of an issue. I had a light bulb moment when I really started thinking about it. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s just different grass. What do I mean by this?

I constantly catch myself with the mentality that if something happens, then everything will be alright. When we were struggling to conceive I would say things like, “if I can just get through this test, I can get pregnant,” or “if I could just get pregnant and have a baby everything will be OK.” I said it about life things too…..”if I could just get a car, everything will be easier,” or “if I could just pay this bill everything will be OK,” and “if I could just buy a house this would all be better.” Now that I am pregnant though, I realize that the grass I was grazing on while trying to conceive was just a different kind of grass. Things didn’t get better when I got pregnant, they are just different. When Luke comes things won’t be better then either, they will just be different again.

With each obstacle, things will always seem brighter on the other side. With each hurdle you jump, each obstacle you overcome – things won’t be better, they will just be different. You’ll have a new obstacle, a new hurdle, something else to try to knock you off your feet. Enjoy the pasture you are in. Once you have moved on, you are going to miss the grass you came from.

What obstacles are in your way? What do you think would make things better in your life?

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9 thoughts on “Is The Grass Is Always Greener?

  1. I feel the same way when I see woman in the store or wherever who are watching me in that way of longing while care for Jude. I want to wear a shirt or wristband or something that says we struggled to have him. I hate that I might be contributing to another’s pain.

    There are definitely different struggles post baby. Like how much worry and anxiety I now have. “What if drop him?” “What if something happens to him?” “Does my working even part time impact him?” “Bills…”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great perspective. I feel like almost everyone has that mentality about things, that “things will be better if……” But you’re right, there will always be struggles, there will always be obstacles, there will always be issues. Life keeps moving and throwing new curve balls at you. Though some things definitely will make life easier or better, there will still be SOMETHING that’s a struggle.

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    • Thanks for reading Amy. I agree 100%! Someone on the outside could look at my life and think “wow, she’s got it all,” while I am struggling in my own things. My grass isn’t any greener than anyone else’s, it’s just a different grass.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It was touching for me to read this from your perspective. I have not yet had a successful pregnancy and I know there are times when I’m not doing as well when I do stare longingly at pregnant women’s bellies or I try to assess if I’m similar in age to the new mom (that one is to give myself hope). I try not to look aggressively, but I always hope I’m not being obvious. I think sometimes I might be, just as you noticed this woman looking at you. On better days, I do tell myself when I feel those pangs that I have no idea about this woman’s story, what she has been through, or how she got to this point in pregnancy. Thanks for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to read this. It really is a different perspective having struggled and now being pregnant. I still have the ttc mentality so knowing that my battle won caused someone else pain is hard. Yes they are still struggling, but I am struggling too….just differently.

      Thanks again for reading and sticking with me through this journey!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I know what it’s like to look at that woman at the grocery store with envy and it wasn’t until a friend of mine told me how she struggled to conceive that made me realize that you never truly know someone else’s journey. For me as someone who is pregnant after a great deal of struggling, I just want other women out there to know, that like you said ‘the grass is not always greener’ its just different and the paths we take to get there are also different.

    Liked by 1 person

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