If I could go back in time and talk to my non-pregnant self, there is a lot that I would want myself to know. When we were struggling to conceive I told myself constantly that I would take whatever life had to throw at me, if I could just be pregnant. I mentioned nausea, swelling and the like…..but I wasn’t fully prepared the way I thought I was. Here is a list of what I wish I had known or been more prepared for.
1. Pregnancy is terrifying – I am so incredibly thankful for the journey we took to get us where we are. Without having so much struggle, pain and heartbreak I don’t think I would appreciate this pregnancy anywhere near as much as I do. I don’t think that I would be able to cope as well with all of the things pregnancy has to offer if it weren’t for that journey. That being said, I absolutely hate what going through infertility did to my mental state when it comes to the pregnancy. Infertility took away the carefree experience that so many get to enjoy. From the moment the test turned positive, I have been terrified. Terrified that the pregnancy was going to end the same way the previous 3 did, worried that something would be wrong with the baby, worried about labor, worried about myself…..just scared all the time. I do the best that I can, but there are times when it gets to be too much. Then I start to worry if my worry is rubbing off on the little guy and he is going to come out an unhappy child.
2. Morning sickness isn’t a joke – If I knew how sick I was going to be through this pregnancy (and yes, a few days shy of 30 weeks I am still puking quite a bit) I would have tried to better prepare myself. Going into it, I thought that I would feel a little bit of queasiness when I got up and then be fine the rest of the day…… I was WRONG. The constant puking seriously weighs you down.
3. You get bigger than you think you will – Everyone knows that you are supposed to gain some weight and inches, but I didn’t know I would get as big as I am. Don’t get me wrong, everyone says I look great…..and I must admit that I do look pretty amazing. It’s just that with any weight gain, pregnant or not, it makes most people a bit anxious. It’s difficult when you go to put on your favorite shirt, a pair of pants that make your ass look great, or your comfiest dress…..only to find that they no longer fit. I couldn’t even tell you how many times we have gone to get me bigger sized clothes, only for me to have a breakdown in the fitting rooms because my size small body isn’t a size small anymore.
4. Baby movements feel funny – As if you could somehow forget you were pregnant, the tiny person growing inside will sure remind you every now and again. As the pregnancy progresses tiny little pokes will turn into full blown kicks, punches, and rolls. It is the weirdest feeling in the world to be doing something or just laying down and all of a sudden get this painful movement inside of you. That’s another thing…..the movements hurt. Like really hurt. I guess if you think about it, your skin is stretched to its breaking point….pressure from the inside isn’t bound to feel very good.
5. Your emotions will go nuts – There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder when my family is going to put me in the loony bin. I can go from extreme happiness to utter despair and then complete depression and back before anyone figures out what was wrong in the first place. Most of the time I don’t even know what is wrong myself. Pre-pregnancy I was much more stable than I am now. I could handle things a whole lot better and was much more capable of hiding what I was feeling.
6. You will fall in love with someone you’ve only seen in photographs – I love my husband and my family, and would literally do anything for them. The love for my family couldn’t even begin to come close to how much I love my son, and I haven’t even met him yet.
What do you wish you knew before getting pregnant? If you aren’t pregnant yet, what are you most looking forward to?