There seemed to be an enormous boom of pregnancy announcements in the blog world, on the forums, on the wonderful world of YouTube, and even just in real life. Nine months later there is an obvious flux in births as well. Makes sense right? One thing I have noticed as woman after woman went from pregnant to parent…….the mention of push presents. For those of you reading that (like me quite a few months ago) don’t know what a push present is, a push present is a gift typically given by the new father (or significant other) to the mother after giving birth.
Before I get into my personal thoughts on push presents, let me tell you some of the things that I have noticed over time. There is a HUGE difference between the mentality of fertile vs. infertile/struggling woman when it comes to push presents. Almost all of the women who I would classify as fertile (able to conceive on their own with no intervention) not only expected but bragged about a push present. Those that didn’t get one seemed pretty angry about it! The mentality of the infertile woman though was much different. Most infertile women (those that struggled to conceive and/or experienced loss) did not expect or want a push present.
Here is my take on push presents. Note: I am not trying to offend anyone by my views. The thought of expecting a present for giving birth is appalling to me. I struggled and fought to get even get pregnant, being able to give birth is present enough for me. The experience of labor and the tiny person alive and healthy in my arms is the most amazing gift that my husband could ever get me. In fact I don’t know how he’s ever going to be able to top this experience with something tangible. Not only do I not want or need a push present, I would be thoroughly offended if my husband felt the need to get me something. I would feel like he didn’t think of our child as “enough”. That’s not saying that I wouldn’t take some Krispy Kreme or a Carmel frappe if he came with one, but I expect nothing from him but love and support.