Before I got pregnant, I never really worried about what my body looked like. I have always been pretty thin, and was firm in all the right places. I married my husband at a mere 97 pounds. I had a tiny waist, firm ass, my thighs didn’t touch when I walked, and I didn’t jiggle. A year and a half into trying I put on 4 pounds, weighing in most days around 101. Now that I’m pregnant and noticeably larger, I’m struggling with how my body looks.
I’m up to 110 pounds (although I haven’t had a bowel movement in awhile). I know in my head that I need to gain weight in order for this tiny person to thrive. When I’m standing on the scale, it doesn’t matter that most of the weight is baby. I’m seeing numbers I’ve never seen before and the only thing I can think of is how I’m going to get the weight off after the baby comes. I’m up 8 pounds currently from my pre-pregnancy weight. Of that 8 pounds, only 2 pounds are actual fat stores. The other 6 pounds are baby, amniotic fluid, fluid retention, placenta, breast growth, etc.. For the health of the tiny tot I need to get up to about 130 pounds according to my doctors, but my mind is having a hard time being ok with that number. Side note: as I’m only up 8 pounds overall I think I’ll be lucky to make it to 125.
Not only am I struggling with the actual weight gain, but I’m really struggling to feel comfortable in my own skin. My body is protruding in new places. My waist started at 27″ and is now at least 35.5″. That’s 8.5″ of flesh that didn’t used to be there. My hips started to spread early and went from 29″ to 34″ in a matter of weeks. The clothes that were once loose and comfy are now way too tight! My body has gone from fit and fabulous to fat and flab. I’m uncomfortable in my clothes and even more uncomfortable in my skin.
The one thing that has come out of this that I am pleased about is my boobs are finally looking pretty good. Because of where my chest caves in bras haven’t ever really fit me. I have gone from earring small 32 A to a full 32C, and I’m still growing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I made it to a DD by the time my milk comes in.
My husband has been amazing through all of this. He tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am and that I’m not fat, I’m pregnant. He says that he is so proud of my ever growing bump because he is the one that did this to me. He doesn’t care if I wiggle and jiggle, or that my thighs touch, or that I have more cushion in my trunk. He loves me and let’s me know it.
I have come up with a plan though. Technically I am not allowed to work out due to the fracture in my back, but I am going to start doing a bit of cardio and try to take a walk a couple times a week. I originally thought about prenatal yoga, but given how uncomfortable I am I would probably do more damage than good. At this point I’m hoping that some exercise will firm up some saggy places and help me feel a bit better about myself.