Body Image

Before I got pregnant, I never really worried about what my body looked like. I have always been pretty thin, and was firm in all the right places. I married my husband at a mere 97 pounds. I had a tiny waist, firm ass, my thighs didn’t touch when I walked, and I didn’t jiggle. A year and a half into trying I put on 4 pounds, weighing in most days around 101. Now that I’m pregnant and noticeably larger, I’m struggling with how my body looks.

I’m up to 110 pounds (although I haven’t had a bowel movement in awhile). I know in my head that I need to gain weight in order for this tiny person to thrive. When I’m standing on the scale, it doesn’t matter that most of the weight is baby. I’m seeing numbers I’ve never seen before and the only thing I can think of is how I’m going to get the weight off after the baby comes. I’m up 8 pounds currently from my pre-pregnancy weight. Of that 8 pounds, only 2 pounds are actual fat stores. The other 6 pounds are baby, amniotic fluid, fluid retention, placenta, breast growth, etc.. For the health of the tiny tot I need to get up to about 130 pounds according to my doctors, but my mind is having a hard time being ok with that number. Side note: as I’m only up 8 pounds overall I think I’ll be lucky to make it to 125.

Not only am I struggling with the actual weight gain, but I’m really struggling to feel comfortable in my own skin. My body is protruding in new places. My waist started at 27″ and is now at least 35.5″. That’s 8.5″ of flesh that didn’t used to be there. My hips started to spread early and went from 29″ to 34″ in a matter of weeks. The clothes that were once loose and comfy are now way too tight! My body has gone from fit and fabulous to fat and flab. I’m uncomfortable in my clothes and even more uncomfortable in my skin. 

The one thing that has come out of this that I am pleased about is my boobs are finally looking pretty good. Because of where my chest caves in bras haven’t ever really fit me. I have gone from earring  small 32 A to a full 32C, and I’m still growing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I made it to a DD by the time my milk comes in. 

My husband has been amazing through all of this. He tells me every day how beautiful he thinks I am and that I’m not fat, I’m pregnant. He says that he is so proud of my ever growing bump because he is the one that did this to me. He doesn’t care if I wiggle and jiggle, or that my thighs touch, or that I have more cushion in my trunk. He loves me and let’s me know it. 

I have come up with a plan though. Technically I am not allowed to work out due to the fracture in my back, but I am going to start doing a bit of cardio and try to take a walk a couple times a week. I originally thought about prenatal yoga, but given how uncomfortable I am I would probably do more damage than good. At this point I’m hoping that some exercise will firm up some saggy places and help me feel a bit better about myself.


7 thoughts on “Body Image

  1. Pretty much every pregnant woman I’ve know has worried about her weight. Totally natural. You WILL
    Loose the weight. You just a have to gain what you need for a healthy pregnancy and the weight usually falls off fast. Everyone seems to have the last 5lbs. My weight dropped super fast and I’ve got 5 more stubborn lbs to go. But I’m not obsessing. Taking care of baby and everything associates is hard enough. I have started little work out challenges this past week though and once the snow melts, we can go on walks!
    Hang in there, it’s all just a natural process and your body will be back to where you’d like some day again. And if it never does 100%, that’s OK because it created a beautiful life you’ve always wanted!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I know I need to gain the weight and whether I want it to or not it’s coming. I’m actually doing pretty well at gaining despite the vomiting. I just wish I didn’t feel like a visitor in my own body.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes you’re doing a great job! I had a tough pregnancy and yet I applaud how well you’re coping. Taking it all in stride and being thankful each day that you’re pregnant. But it can’t be easy. And you have the right like everyone else to feel FAT and feel like your body isn’t yours because for now, it’s being borrowed. And it’s not easy to grow a human. And it’s not easy to see your body transform like this. I found that once I got to a certain size I was OK. I knew the weight would come off.
        I’m still not close to being happy with my figure and would love to rock a two piece this summer…but I’m not so sure I have the time to get there. But I’ve started two daily challenges that will last 30 days. One is Squats, the other, Planks. I’d like to add in an upper body at some point. It doesn’t take me long & because of that I can succeed.
        It’s great you are having such nice weather the snow is finally starting to melt here & I can see walking in my near future!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve always been really thin and considered underweight by those annoying BMI charts. I’m embracing this whole pregnancy thing as an experience. Everything is squishy and jiggly. My thighs rub. I finally understand what my plus size friend refers to as “chub rub.” My boobs touch my belly when I sit. I feel lumpy but also voluptuous. My body may never be the same but I know I will lose the weight if I am determined. I wouldn’t mind of the giant boobs stuck around though! It’s a little hard to look down and see the cankles and legs that don’t look like mine, but I know it’s temporary. But I am enjoying it and wearing more fitted things than I ever have because I am rocking curves everywhere! I figure this is my one chance to be a hot mama-to-be and experience an entirely new body type.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: When It’s Easier To Worry About Something Trivial | Eventual Momma

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