Drowning in Change

I have never been a big fan of things changing. I like the same old thing day after day. As I sit here in a nearly empty room, thanks to my moms help today with cleaning and packing, I am reminded of just how much life has changed…..and how much more life is going to change in the future.

As I think back to when life began to change I am filled with anxiety. October 21st was the first day of my cycle. A cycle characterized by change in itself. In the two weeks leading up to ovulation many plans were made, plans that later changed. I had an MRI the day of ovulation and learned that I had a fracture in my back and would need to start physical therapy to repair the damage. We met with the reproductive endocrinologist and made a plan for a follow up ultrasound and the start of artificial insemination. I met with the foot doctor and came up with what we hoped would be the final treatment needed to fix the pain in my foot……a surgery that has since had to be postponed.

All of these changes are welcome in the grander scheme of things. Physical therapy and surgery could be put off until the wee one comes, and we no longer needed to use advanced reproductive medicine to help us conceive.

Here I am, almost five months into my pregnancy and I feel like I am drowning in change. In the past few weeks a lot has changed. I was basically forced out of my job and into a leave of absence because the position is too dangerous for me during pregnancy, we have packed up everything that I literally just got done unpacking from when we moved in a year ago, we packed up other things that are just taking up space/we don’t use right now, I packed up about 95% of the clothes I own because they no longer fit, and furniture has been rearranged. Tomorrow my parents and brother are coming over to help Ronny move basically the entire contents of the dining room to either my parents or brothers house for storage so we can turn the dining room into an area for the baby. The kitchen has been cleaned out and re-organized, with unused appliances being stored in my parents garage. All of my clothes and a few other items are headed for storage as well.

I’m completely overwhelmed with the change, and I know that we are no where near done with the direction life is headed. As much as I dread the change, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m packing up my old life (well storing it away anyways), and making way for the new life on the way. With the love and support of my husband and family, I know I am going to be okay.